Expressing your kindness

It is my belief that all of us have kindness within ourselves. It's not something we have to feed, it's just there. If you slow down, you might feel it in your arms or your breath or your heart or some silence or in excitement; it's there. We all have it.

Sometimes, we forget this. I have recently found myself wondering, "where is it?" "where did it go?" To explain- I have been feeling caught up in busyness or lack there of (in this case, then the busyness I create as a distraction from the lack of busyness) and just felt something missing, something like kindness. I just realized tonight, however, it's still there :) Essentially this coming from two instances in my day.

One- I visit a friend at her apartment twice a week for breakfast that lingers into afternoon soap operas and conversations about work, school, family & dreams. This apartment in particular has a front desk with security and other maintance staff working around the entrance. Everytime I leave, I smile (I'm in a good mood afterall), ask how who'severeyesIcatch's day is going and say bye. At my first visit, the guy looked at mestrangely/happily and said, you made my day! thanks! (to which I wondered in my head, does no one smile or say hello? ...the people who live at this apartment seem friendly) This afternoon, one of the guys who I've talked with several times on my way out, ended with, you have a big smile! keep smiling! Of course he was grinning ear to ear, so I told him to do the same and couldn't stop myself from laughing.

In my opinion, these are the best interactions! You mean nothing but good and count on recieving nothing in return except maybe a hello (or a non-descript coughing noise) and because of the returned kindness or happiness of another, you can't stop yourself from smiling while you walk down the street afterwards, even though the street looks the same (and its not really a particularly interesting street).

Two- Tonight the bus was particularly crowded and as such a friend and I found ourselves up close and personal with the driver. The bus was silent! Crammed full of people coming home from work, school or shopping and it was silent! So, my friend struck up a conversation with the driver (who was also shocked about the silence) and the three of us talked for awhile. I realize typing this out, that it was not a completely atypical or profound type of an experience, but it was nice (and I would say, kind- as to me, "kind" describes most actions which contribute to that unstoppable glow which follows an unplanned moment of giving or selfless consideration) to have a small group to laugh and joke with on the way home, especially since it was probably about the millionth similar drive of one of the conversationalists.

So, basically, as I have found myself hanging out here in my room in solitude wondering about my current state of kindness (yes, I can get guilty and dramatic), I am reminded from these two events, that kindness is both small and large and basically is always there. We just have to live it! and let it run the show for once in awhile. Afterall, who likes to be on autopilot?

I also realize that smiling is my way to offer kindness. Perhaps you have a different way. I encourage you to celebrate it and remind you not to forget it!

Peace & all things wonderful :D

~Angie